Wed-NESS-Day

Pill lacking day. Don't judge me.

So... I'm at work and bored out of my motherfuckig mind. I should be working, but I'm not. I should be productive, but I'm not. I should be lots of things... but I'm not. I should have rememberd to swallow the matrix last night... but I forgot. So now I'm here and I will be writing you weird ass pointless shit that just Might make you worry about me. BUt that's okay, because no one reads this. So perhaps I'll make myself worry later on in life when I go back and read over this. Who knows.

So anyways, I was circling the drain that is the internet and came across an old friend... postsecret.

copyright postsecret
If this isn't true about myself... I don't know what is. In fact, I think I might order some MAC makeup from Macy's right now...

Anyways, I have no idea how to work blogger so now I'm pissesd. Oh and I really am off to Macy's.com to buy makeup. Peace!

13 Minutes to go... I wanna be sedated.

By the time this blog is written, it will be time to go. So if you are reaidng this now... I'm already gone. No, not in the Kelly Clarkson sense. More like the... bitch I'm out!

Today was... blah. Tomorrow will be... blah and the following day.... who knows. That's our christmas party so we shall see how that goes. I sai dI would bring potato casserole and cupcakes. WHY THE FUCK did I say that for?! Seriously? I'm going to devote my whole day to making this shit and I bet I'll fuck it up anyways.

Anywhoozle (yes, that one was for you Shark man), I am sleepy as frick and I wanna sleep but I also want to read and if possible, I would write. But I got nothing on the brain worth writing. Its all nonsense. Outrageous nonsense that would derail the plotline. Times like these are when I fuck up and start a new story which will ruin my chances of ever finishing the previous story.

Today Snarky ruined christmas. And by ruin christmas, I mean he ruined my damn cartoon drawing on our in/out board. He defiled my holly jolly snowman and santa. I was peeved, but liek always I said nothing. I just erased it when he was done and started over. I hate starting overm its never the same. Its irritating. Do I need to place a DO NOT TOUCH MY FUCKING CARTOON DRAWING! sign on there or something? Would writing that be too blunt? Would I get in touble? Would I care?

Do I care if I would care or do I not care and wish that I would care?

I'm in a total road block, writers block. I'm blocked. I need someone to write me a scene so that I can dissect it and make it my own and then say THANKS! I'm so fucking wrong. Its wrong how wrong I am. I also really really fucking want some cheese enchiladas from Carolinas but those bitches are mucho expensive. I'm out like a flame.

Peace.

Random Tuesday: Shit.

I have this thing where I’d like to like to blog. But I don’t. At least, not consistently. I blog in my head all the damn time but to actually sit down and hash it out? Nope. It hardly ever happens. I find myself more often than not wanting to find an outlet to express myself. Writing fanfiction isn’t really the way to go because the characters aren’t me. They’re them. Blogging is okay but like I said, consistently finding ideas to write about and elaborating on them? Hard to do.

So let’s start with this morning. I didn’t want to wake up. I slept in. Then I hauled ass. Juuuust like I do every morning. But when I got to work, I was sad that I started my day with a cup of shitty coffee. Have you ever had to start you shitty day off with a shitty cup of coffee? It not only makes your shitty day even shittier, but it makes THE REST of your fucking shitty day all the more shittier.

So that’s where I am right now. J

IDK

My BFF Jess?

Let’s talk a little about the fact that I’m the only person I know who came to work and didn’t really have to… Why did I do that you say? Well… I haven’t a friggin clue. WTF?!

Still Pissed

Yep... still upset. I know it wasn't intentional but I'm still pissed. I work just as hard as you, but I don't fuck with your money. DAMN IT! I suck. I should be more understanding. Money is the root of all evil. FUCK!

Ugh.

LIAR

I AM NOT LIKE HER! I AM NOT LIKE HER! I AM NOT LIKE HER!!!!!

Excuse me miss know it all, miss degree but no phd, miss queen of the universe, miss i need to be the center of attention or i'll hang my face, miss i constantly need to be told i'm beautiful, miss reassure me reassure me reassure me, miss fucking hypocrite!

I admit when shit is real.

FUCK YOU.

FRIGGIN AYE!

JESUS, TAKE THE WHEEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't stand this anymore, these sentences are horrid and embarrassing and I can't rewrite them. I know my writing and grammar is not all that but LORDY LORD! We need a crash course in writing memo's stat. I can no longer sit here and edit-edit-edit this shit!

But I have to, *sigh* it pays the bills.

A Moment Like This

I’m having a moment. You know what I’m talking about. The kind where you feel gross and ugly and want to go home and crawl under the covers and watch tv or hide. I hate being a girl sometimes and then I hate when I do things that I KNOW are going to make me feel like crap later on. I say, “you’re gonna regret this…” and guess what? I do.

Ever. Damn. Time.

It’s a rare occasion that I don’t regret shit. So… how come I think things mean something? I mean, can’t shit just… be? Not everything means something, and yet… it does. EVERYTHING means something. I believe God has a purpose for everything. Even the smallest thing. Right?

Because if it doesn’t then I have no idea what I’m doing here. I’m losing my mind. Seriously. I’m fucking losing my mind. I miss people who don’t miss me. I miss people who don’t exist anymore. I miss things that mean nothing and things that mean everything and I miss miss miss miss miss when things weren’t so fucking complicated.

I also miss my cat.

Bohemian Rhapsody

I’m thinking that in 23 minutes I’m going to duck out. Neurotic-Psychotic is not in today, Boss man is busy and Funny man would never snitch. Then again I totally snuck out yesterday to go have Dinner with Carebear, Gin and Dimples. Hmmm… we shall see…

Chiiiillz

You ever hear a song and think of a million different things? Sometimes I get ideas for a story. Sometimes I get ideas for a movie scene. Sometimes I think of a video to make. Most times it makes me remember things that happened in the past…

For example, I hear Kelly Clarkson’s “Sober” and I think about the time I sat in my car in the rain one day for lunch at CR and belted it out. Finch was in his car beside me and we were both… in limbo. I was always in limbo when it concerned him and in a way I guess I always be in limbo with him. Or maybe I’ll actually let go, who knows? Who can predict the future…?

Anyways, so I was just sitting here working and then my ipod plays Beautiful Lie by 30 Seconds to Mars and I was reminded of a scene I wrote for an old ass Roswell fic. Weeeeird! I remember writing it and what I wanted the reader to fill and then I was like well daaaaaaaaamn how old is this song cuz I wrote that AGES ago! Weird and creepy and sad because now I feel old.

That is all.

Fucking FINALLY

It's the end of the day and as I pack my shit and get ready to go, I start to think about everything that has happened today... Shit, shit and more shit. Today was boring but it went by very fast so I definately appreciate that. I am still annoyed by Bimbi and also creepy mccreepster is getting up there on my nerve level. But I survived so... who gives a shit, right?

You know my own mother forgot that she is supposed to pick me up from work today? How rude! She better get here on time... or else I won't let her drive my car. Big whoop on that one. 10 points for badassness... deduct 50 for thinking that was badass... shit.

I'm fukcing bored as hell and I wish I could write for Twilight like those BAMFs who wrote CW&IA, MOTU and WA. Oh well, there is a time and place for everything I suppose. Maybe someday I will finally finish a story and get it published. Until then I'll just continue to bitch!bitch!bitch! :P

Calm like a bomb

IGNITE! IGNITE! IGNITE!

Monday...

I'm fucking drowning....

I'm Serious

I am ready to BOUNCE outta here! I'm waiting for my paycheck @ 3pm and then I am outtie 500 my people. If you think I'm playin you don't know me!

Blah I'm Bored

I'm at work and I wanna goooo hoooome Forest! Blah. I'm typing and typing nonsense cuz I'm bored and blah blah blah. I should work on my twific notes since I spent half the morning working on CL notes... hmmm....

Random fact you didn't want to know...

I still say "fuck a dime..."

Annoyed

Construction. Construction. Construction. It’s fucking driving me insane in the membrane and I wanna punch someone in the face! Preferably a construction worker. That drilling sound is so annoying I want to go 51/50 on someone’s ass. Also, I’m fucking annoyed when certain people print hella useless shit for a cause that has done nothing to warrant my money this year or last! I’m pissed at the amount of time this person gets in order to conduct these ‘meetings’ and annoying shit. I DON’T CARE BECAUSE YOUR NEGOTIATERS SUCK DONKEY. I am just having a moment, I’m sure I will feel bad about this in a few minutes and then I will wish I never said anything to begin with.

Until then, FAH-Q!